Ah, the bitter reality of plans gone wrong and how to deal with disappointment.

My loyal fans all know that I am a big proponent of planning. If you don’t plan, it does not happen. But what happens when those plans go off track?

If you have read my blog for the past 4 or 5 months, you know that I believe that if you don’t plan and put it on the calendar, chances are it is not going to happen.  Check out this post for some context.

But let’s fast forward, even the best laid plans sometimes spin out of your control. Sometimes this lack of control leaves you at a loss. So how do you get past these bumps in the road and get back to living the amazing life that you were meant for? Keep reading and I will give you 5 great tips that you can use the next time life takes an unexpected turn.

But first, a little story. We had our third very epic trip coming up last week. It is something that we have been thinking about for some time. We were all set to take an Alaskan cruise. I paid for it months ago and have been counting down the days since summer started.

In light of the current state of health in the world, it is a little more difficult to travel these days. In order to board just about any ship around the world you have to have proof of both vaccinations, and a negative Covid test.

Well, all members of my family have been fully vaccinated so I didn’t think this would be a big issue. However, the Friday before we were supposed to go, yep you guessed it, my husband tested positive for Covid and on the following Sunday, I began exhibiting my own symptoms.

Needless to say, there was no way that we were going to be cruising anytime soon. The crushing weight of disappointment set in.

So, how did I deal with this disappointment and get over it? Keep reading and I’ll let you in on a few tips that I use when these situations occur.

However, before we get to the tips, let’s talk a little about what disappointment is and why sometimes we experience it more often than we would like.

What Causes Disappointment

Disappointment is an unpleasant feeling that can sneak up on you when you least expect it. But what exactly causes this emotion?

Most disappointment comes from expectations that haven’t been met. You expect to get an A on the test, but you get a C-. You thought you nailed the interview and the job was yours, but then you get the “thank you for your interest in our company but, we have decided to go with another candidate” email.

In both cases, your brain is set up for disappointment because the reality doesn’t match the expectation.

Of course, not all disappointment comes from such strong expectations. Sometimes disappointment can come simply from having high hopes for something, only to be let down when the reality doesn’t meet those hopes.

Disappointment can also come from comparisons – if you compare your life to others’ and find yourself wanting, you’re likely to feel disappointed. No matter how it sneaks up on you, disappointment is an emotion we’ve all experienced at one point or another.

And so we have to learn to deal with disappointment and move on.

What Can We Gain When we Deal with Disappointment

Mike Robbins states in this amazing article the ways that we are benefitted from experiencing hardships and when we have to deal with disappointment. When you deal with disappointment it:

•  helps you learn
•  helps motivate you
•  makes you grateful
•  makes you more resilient

5 Tips to Help You Deal with Disappointment

Acknowledge the disappointment and give yourself time to sit with it. Give yourself a specified period of time where you can be angry or disappointed. Realize that this is part of the healing process.

Analyze what happened and what caused the disappointment. Really look at the situation or the event and decide if anything could be done differently the next time that you are in this situation.

See if the situation can be rectified in some way. Can you get your money back? Can you ask the HR person what you could have done differently in the interview. Are you being too unreasonable? By looking at the situation critically you can often find a better solution.

Look at the big picture and dig deep to redefine your expectations. If things or events continue to disappoint, maybe it is time to look into your inner self and redefine what outcomes you expect. Or maybe you just need to zoom out and look at the situation as a whole.

Use what you have learned to help you deal with disappointment. Finally take everything that you have learned and make a plan to move forward.

Disappointment is an inevitable part of life. We all experience it in different ways and to varying degrees, but the sting is always there. Whether we’re dealing with a missed opportunity, a broken heart, or just plain old bad luck, disappointment can leave us feeling frustrated and upset. But let’s not get stuck in this vortex of sadness. Remember, your life is waiting for you, so deal with the disappointment and get on with it.

In the case of our missed cruise. After giving myself a period of a couple of hours to be angry and sad, I was able to call all of the reservations and get 100% of our money back. We were then able to schedule a cruise later in the year at a reduced rate.

If you learn to use disappointment to your advantage, often times you will find that things turn out better in the long run. It certainly did for us. Share in the comments below moments that you used disappointment to your advantage. I can’t wait to learn from you.

xooxoo

Julie

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